Formal Introductory Letter

Dear Professor Blackstone,

I am writing to introduce myself as a student in your Critical Thinking and Communication module class. I am Vaishnavi, a year one Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering student at SIT.

I recently graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic in 2023 with a diploma in Robotics and Mechatronics. My interest in engineering started in secondary school when I first saw various innovative final-year projects using 3D modelling and designing during workshops and seminars. It piqued my interest to learn more about it and how it is done.

My curiosity led me to study the fields of robotics and mechatronics. I excelled in 3D modelling and designing, using Inventor 3D CAD software to design mechanical parts. For my final year project, I designed a robotic end effector, which gave me enough confidence that my 3D designing skills are good to continue pursuing a degree related to mechanical design.

One of my strengths in communication skills is communicating clearly, concisely, and confidently in small group settings with a small audience. During my final year project at Nanyang Polytechnic, I presented my design idea pitch to 2 company personnel and my professor. I could propose and explain my idea, and I received positive feedback. However, when it comes to a larger audience, I get nervous as many eyes are on me, and I speed through the things I want to convey, which ends in unclear and unconfident communication.

My aim for this module is to gain confidence and learn how to convey to larger audiences. I also want to improve my written communication skills to be clear in my reports and emails. I look forward to this module and its personal and professional growth opportunities. My commitment to learning will contribute positively to the module's success.

I look forward to your guidance and feedback as I work towards achieving my goals. Thank you for your time.

Best regards,

Vaishnavi

Comments

  1. Benjamin OngJanuary 17, 2024 at 5:35 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Darren HorJanuary 17, 2024 at 7:35 PM

    Hi Vaish,

    I really enjoyed reading your letter and was really immersed in getting to know more about your FYP project and the struggles you faced.

    However, I feel that your first paragraph's flow could be improved by stating who you are first before mentioning that you are a part of his class.

    Best regards,
    Darren Hor

    ReplyDelete
  3. Zhi XiangJanuary 20, 2024 at 1:54 AM

    Hi Vaish

    It was great reading your post , it dives deeper into your involvement in your FYP which helps portray your interests and capabilities.

    A great use of punctuation marks that helps convey your message clearly!

    It was well-written and a good read

    Regards
    Zhi Xiang

    ReplyDelete
  4. Benjamin OngJanuary 24, 2024 at 6:24 AM

    Good day Vaish,

    The letter was really written, it was structured and clear. I appreciate the examples you gave from your own experience.

    I would have liked to hear more about your engineering/communication skills outside of school. You could have mentioned more about your strenghts/weaknesses in communucation for your CCA? That will give your letter a personal touch.

    Overall, it was a very well written letter and I enjoyed reading it.

    Regards,
    Benjamin Ong

    ReplyDelete
  5. JavidJanuary 24, 2024 at 10:23 PM

    Dear Vaish,

    I have read your letter, and it is a well written one. Not many people have the interest in 3D modelling and this world needs more people like you, because it's the people like you that will be the future of 3D modeling of parts. I can also tell that you will be able to excel greatly in this course because the interest is there, which is important.

    As for your letter, it is well written and clear. However, nothing in this world is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. The sentence "I am Vaishnavi, a year one Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering student at SIT" could be improved. Instead of using "year one", the words "first-year" could be used. That would make your sentence sound much better.

    Great letter Vaish! Looking very much forward to working with you in class. See you!

    Regards,
    Javid

    ReplyDelete
  6. JesslynJanuary 25, 2024 at 6:59 AM

    Hi Vaish,

    I like the content you wrote and the flow was good. It is nice to understand how passionate you are about engineering and what has inspired you to continue in SIT. Your experiences are also aligned with your strengths and weaknesses and most importantly you know your weaknesses and try to improve them. However, there are some mistakes u made. First, it is better to use "in SIT" instead of "at SIT". Also, I think the sentence "However when it comes to a larger audience, I get nervous as many eyes are on me, and I speed through the things I want to convey, which ends in unclear and unconfident communication." is too long, maybe you can split it into 2 sentences from " and I spend through...".
    Regards,
    Jess

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brad BlackstoneFebruary 2, 2024 at 11:36 PM

    Thank you, Vaish, for sharing in this detailed letter. You effectively address all the key elements of the prompt. It's interesting for us to find out something about your learning journey and your evolving interest in 3D modelling and designing. For me it's a powerful statement about the value of the sec school project sharing that a student like you could become so influenced that their career path could be determined by that.

    At the same time, you shine light on your comm skills and your aims for the module. In terms of language use, this is a very fine effort, with the only issue being some overuse of caps, including:
    -- a year one Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering student
    -- a diploma in Robotics and Mechatronics.

    I look forward to learning nmore about you this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete

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